Damn, Arkansas At Last!

Throughout our trip to Cave City, Arkansas to meet with The Shadow and any other survivors that may be with him, we had to stop short of coming close to Houston, Texas. We stopped in Fort Worth, Texas. Paul apparently had a blast, he got to play target practice again. There were only a few zombies, 5 to be precise. Paul unrolled his window of the driver side seat and woke me up, I had apparently passed the fuck out on the trip. I got up and was told to get out and pump gas. My first thought was "FUCK!" but I did so. I got out groggily, and got into the back of the truck bed.

It's apparent the god damned dead are starting to gain some form of intelligence, one of the pompous fucks tried to climb into the back of the truck before receiving a pellet to the head, courtesy of Paul's play practice. I grabbed the pump for premium gasoline and filled the truck first. Then, leaving the gas pump's head within the bed of the truck, I unscrewed all the caps on the gas cans and filled those damn things up as well. I have no earthly clue how long I've been pumping, gas, but it was long enough for 2 of the zombies to reanimate themselves, which of course Paul was more than happy to aim his mental crosshairs at.

The gas was finished being pumped in the truck and all the cans. Paul moved over to the passenger seat which was my queue to drive this time around. Normally I wouldn't want to drive because most of the other fuckers on the streets are idiots and would need to retake their written test to get their fucking license revoked, but I degress because this situation is no longer needed as everyones dead and now here for the mere sport of Paul's weaponry. I haven't had to use my ballbats yet, kinda fun really.

Still typing this all on the iPhone and I'm learning I'm getting quite fast at it. Right now we're in Cave City, Arkansas so I can safely type while The Shadow and the rest of the survivors help fortefy the stronghold of the church. There was one more stop in Fort Worth, Texas worth mentioning. Paul wanted to stop and collect toys.

Using Paul's direction, I drive us to a military base there where Paul got his ass out of the truck, practically falling 10 feet considering how tall this god damned truck is, and ran into a specific building he had me drive us towards. There weren't any undead there, which was shocking, at least not to my knowledge at first. I heard some gunshots, high power rifles and pistols, not the pellet guns. I have no idea if Paul was testing weapons or taking out zombies but one way or the other, I'm sure Paul was having a damn good fucking time. It's great, it's like the only thing that makes him happy, a never ending supply of moving targets.

Paul did come back just fine, though making several trips popping ammo case after ammo case into the back of the truck and a couple within the truck, one on the passenger side floorboard and one in back end of the cab where I'd assume children would ride. It's like a limo for stupid hicks, which is saddening considering I'm surrounded by these fuckers right now. Idiots, not just the zombies. Honestly I think the stupid zombies I originally noticed in Arizona where smarter than these dumb fucks here in this church. They're all praying to "God" and "Jesus Christ" thinking those to fictional fairy tale characters are going save them. I'm personally waiting on the Flying Spaghetti Monster to save us. Hell, it makes more fucking sense to me.

Paul's got his toys though, I have no fucking idea what in the sam hell these guns are called but I don't care, they're awesome. This one pistol which I think is a magnum blows heads up real good. I mean, damn. One load, one shot, mission accomplish. Those brains go splatter splat splat plop! It was beautiful seeing a brick wall painted with hair, bits of skull and flesh, brains and blood. I found it to be pretty fucking awesome. There's no amount of awesome to describe it. Paul is god...

During our trip towards Cave City, Arkansas, Paul had to empty 2 of the gas cans to refill the truck while we were on the road, pretty interesting getting out of the truck through that sliding glass thing in he back side of the truck and crawling through it's window to get back there. It's pretty hard to fill a truck with gas from gas cans when you're going close to 100 miles per hour and the speed bumps umm I mean zombies, at least I'd assume it would be. Paul did it like it was nothing.

We arrived in Cave City and headed towards the location which The Shadow told us he would be. Though we saw what looked like someone being attacked by zombies through a broken window of a car. Looks like this idiot dumbass didn't know to highjack a taller vehicle and lock the doors of said tall vehicle. What a dumbass. Then again I can see where he gets said intelligence or lack thereof being in this church with the survivors here for just a few minutes, it makes me want to turn into a zombie just to eat them to get them to shut the fuck up already.

Paul squeezed himself through the back window glass and braced himself. I just drove slowly, going about 20 MPH and going around the parking lot and blasting the hell out of zombies. Personally, I went for the grenade, GOD that was fucking awesome. I never new grenades where like candy, I could play with these things all day. Dear god no wonder why Paul loves his guns, that was fun as hell watching them fuckers blow up into a bazillion little pieces. Lets see you reanimate now butt fucker!

Next thing we know after all said commotion was some kid, yes, kid pop out of the grocery store wearing a red cloak. The person getting attacked jumped onto the back and yelled out to not shoot him, he's alive and climbed into the truck. We pulled towards the front and picked up the kid in the red cloak who hopped into the passenger seat with me and had us drive to the church which was basically right across the fucking street. Convenient.

We head to the church and park. The kid in the read cloak, apparently adorned in saw blades, tells us to grab our weapons and supplies and bring them into the church. We asked why only for us to realize from his response that the zombies are learning, they're grabbing weapons and may utilize gas and fire to burn the building down and bust through the stronghold. Paul and the kid using their guns and ... fucking saw blades and some ninja sword shit, they protected it while myself and the other dipshit idiot from the car of duress taking all the shit into the church, as well as the gas cans.

Once all is inside, we gather ourselves and fortify the doors. The kid in the read cloak introduces himself as The Shadow. Surprises the living hell out of me. A kid contacted us? A fucking kid? Seems to be a good fighter with throwing weapons and the sword, don't know if he could possibly compete with Paul but ok, why not, sure. FUCK IT! Almost immediately, our supply of twinkies and hostess cupcakes started to dwindle as the other survivors started chowing down on our grub.

The next thing that I notice are these dumbshits start praising "God" and thanking "Jesus Christ" for the food that was just brought to them. God and Jesus my ass, it was my effort mixed with Paul's infinity target practice fetish that brought the food, not these fictional fairy tail fuckers. These guys are getting on my last fucking nerve, half temped to just blow the doors down, get in the truck and leave them all except the kid in the red cloak to die for the soul purpose of being Zombie Chow, zombies ask for it by name.